Self-Control

“The Karate Kid” kicked off an avalanche of interest in karate in the 1980’s. It prompted me to take up Tae Kwon Do for a short period - something I wish I stuck with for a longer time. Although it displayed a romanticized view of martial arts, there are tidbits of wisdom sprinkled throughout we can apply to our daily study.

First learn stand, then learn fly.
-Mr. Miyagi (The Karate Kid)

Daniel’s impatience figured prominently in the early part of the movie. At each step of training, Daniel wanted more - to punch, to kick, to perform some super-acrobatic flying maneuver. Then comes the iconic scene where Miyagi challenges Daniel to realize he has been building skills all along. Queue training montages and the magical transoformation into a karate champion.

The American Freestyle Karate system I train under attributes self-control to the white belt. Let’s explore the definition: Restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires. We all experience emotional responses and desires. Sometimes pride and ego prevent us from listening. Ohhh, I really want that ice cream! Squirrel! The desire to learn the next step or some complicated but flashy technique.

Our impulses can be a great asset in combating procrastination and ensuring variety and fulfillment in our lives. But they must be tempered with self-control. Tempering our impulses can mean slowing down to assess a situation, taking time to train and re-train a technique, or even delaying the start of an activity when we do not have time to fully commit to it. We must “stop and smell the roses” to devote adequate attention to current tasks and avoid a life of half-finished endeavors. After all, our lives thrive on experiences and milestones and we cannot fully appreciate those when we are constantly focused on the next great thing. The same is true in our study of karate-do. Everything we learn in karate is cumulative. Advanced techniques are simple extensions to the basic techniques we learn when we begin. If we spend our time rushing to learn different techniques we never achieve proficiency as our training was built on a poor foundation. We must exercise self-control at the beginning to focus our efforts on proficiency in each technique before moving on. Yes - continue to dream and look forward to the next milestone, but ensure your efforts are first focused on building that proficiency.

We must exercise self-control at all levels of study - from underbelt to beyond black belt. How can we exercise and practice self-control to build a stable base for learning?

• Come to study: Even if your dojo is not formal in style, arrive each day in a mindset to study. Greet your peers, have fun, but focus first on being attentive and contributing to an environment of learning.

• Listen first: You can’t hear while you’re talking, and you’re mind cannot absorb when it’s formulating the next words to speak. Listen closely to your instructors. Ask questions to clarify if needed. Consider holding “What if…" questions to the end of class. They are fantastic - ask them! But focus first on fully understanding the day’s material.

• Listen always: Listen outside your dojo as well. Hear what other’s are saying. Can you discern how they are feeling based on subtle clues from their words?

• Be in the moment: A core concept of mindfulness, take time to just enjoy the moment for what it is. Fulfillment doesn’t come from constantly striving towards something else. You should partake in things you can enjoy for themselves. Admire that nice side-kick you just practiced. Pet your dog and enjoy their company when you feed them.

One thing that has made the most impact on my practice of self-control and enjoyment of life is letting go. Doing less in life gives me the ability to focus more on the activities I enjoy. I used to engage in many more activities - some for pure enjoyment and some for growth. But keeping up with too much left me drained. I found myself not truly enjoying what I was doing. Through self-control, I decided on the list of activities I could focus on and would give me the most enjoyment at this time in my life and committed fully to them.

Self-control is an important concept that follows us throughout our journey in karate-do. It is so integral to learning that it is emphasized at the very beginning of our studies. But as with physical techniques, self-control is a concept that we should continually train and improve, building upon it with new knowledge and understanding. The next time you train, take a moment to think about how you practice self-control and what one thing you can do this week to strengthen it.